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"Moments like this are why I do what I do. If I can help you be happy, I'm happy. Now go." That's exactly what I did. I knew where Drew's new apartment was, and did the entire 6-hour drive through the dark and snow to get there as fast as possible. I tried to prepare myself for what I would say to him, especially given the atomic bomb of a fact that I had fallen head over heels for the guy. I was terrified that if I just opened up with that, he wouldn't believe me. It would come off as me using him even more, but now as a fuck-buddy or backup partner until something better came along. I wanted him forever, but I had already spent way too much time thinking only of my feelings. I knew that I had to fully apologize first, and then, only if he forgave me and still loved me after it all, would I beg him to give me another chance, this time as a lover instead of a friend. What if he couldn't forgive me? What then? If that happened, I would lose not only my best friend, but also the love. ”I laughed and laughed, not because the joke was so swell (but maybe it was), but delighted at her considering me grown up. After that, we walked on as if there were lots of curbs for me to help this old auntie over.Just gassing around, the two of us.We spread our blanket on the bank and watched the ripples. I’d my book about airplanes, and she, a book involving a butler. She read me a few lines, but I missed why she thought it amusing.The afternoon was far too pleasant to while away reading, but I hardly expected she’d suggest taking a dip.“Didn’t bring our suits,” thinking it rather obvious.“In our underthings, silly. The otters won’t care.”I guess I was too surprised to respond, as before I could come up with an excuse, she was in her brassiere and underpants, and I’d really no choice but to strip to my skivvies and in we waded.“We’re on a whaling ship,” her idea, “and I’m Ishmael up in the crows-nest,” setting me down where it was still shallow and hopping on my lap as in the car..
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